Starvation and Memories
by l0nleyr0ads
Summary: The arena has different effects on the tributes in it, creating horror and violence, this is an account of one girls journey in it.


I'm stood upon the metal circle that I was told to stay on, for a whole minute until the gong sounded. The seconds slowly pass as I recall the past events that have damaged and certainly led to the ending my life which would most likely be at this point, any second. These events would not allow me, or any other tribute here to have a future, even the winner still has to look back at the Games, what they have done, who they have killed, what families they have destroyed by doing so, no, it was the Capitol who did these things, creating this horror, this fear, and not even feeling any guilt for it, we are just their toys, that they can throw away, discard when broken or damaged, when they want to.

I looked around and wondered how these other children lived, why they lived that way, what they were called, not just "the girl from District Three", how they were to cope, what they were really like, what their family and friends thought of them, after all they were human, I knew I would never know, just as everyone else would. I wondered as I watched the other tributes faces, some filled with rage and anger, others filled with fear and terror, knowing as I did they were going to die, and others who knew they were to die but stood ready to fight, just as I am, you could see it all in their eyes, every detail, memory and emotion. No-one here would remember me, no-one in the other Districts would be able to remember my name, and soon I would be forgotten by my own District, my own family. I saw them behind my eyes, just as they would see me on their television, my brother, sister, grandpa, mother and father, all sat round it watching me, watching me die, in front of the nation. I thought of my own, hidden away at the edge of the District, looking out to the endless fields and forests, he always wanted to run away, but there would never be anyone waiting to save us, nowhere to go, we were going to grow old together, maybe have children, yes, even in a world of death like this, he was my everything, I know he won't forget me, no matter how much I want him to. I can see him clearer than my family as if he was here with me, his soft bright blue eyes, always as if they could stare into you and just know what you were thinking, and he did know what I was thinking every of the time, it was a magic moment every time. The image of him calms me, as I clench my fists, showing that I am not going to die just yet, my short nails still scraping my skin, probably leaving a mark, the more anxious I get the more I bite them, and I have been anxious a lot lately. I think of his eyes again, to make sure I don't show any fear to my competitors, keeping my eyes solid, making sure no emotion leaks through as it does with others.

At the reaping, I remember wearing my best dress, it really was, it was made of the best fabric anyone in the District could get, white, with buttons going down the front and a collar at the top. My hair was partly held up; being long it was hard to tie up all together, flowing to a stop slightly above where my ribs ended. I stood in the town centre for what seemed like hours, waiting for the girl tribute's name to be called out, after all of the suspense it was mine, everyone turned around, and I went bright red, just as someone would if they had to talk in front of their class when they had said something stupid, but this wasn't as childish as that. I remember by breath stopping, hearing my heart beat in my ears as they went bright red, my heart pumping the blood around my body the fastest it ever has done. The floor disappeared, and my legs lost balance, causing me falling to the ground. The peacekeepers hauled me up and dragged me to the stage, I pushed them away, punched them almost, until they backed off, I could stand, just about, and walk up the steps next to an extravagantly dressed man, smiling broadly at me, I knew that this was all an act, he was told to do this by the Capitol, he was here to take us away from our lives in District Four as kindly as he could. I held in my tears and any emotions, just as I am now in the arena. From the stage where I was now standing I could see him, in the boys part of the reaping, he was staring with his tear filled eyes, knowing that he wouldn't be able to see me again, speak to me again, or kiss me again, he was unable to close his eyes, wanting to really see me for one last time before I was in the Justice Building, before the Games began. I never heard the strangely dressed man from the Capitol read out the boy tributes name, but when I saw the boy walking up to the stage I knew it was either a very bad thing or a very good thing, hating this boy ever since I was young, I would be able to kill him happily and kill him is what I was to do, these emotions showed as he walked up to the stage, knowing that I were to kill him, the boy saw it in my eyes, as well as every person in the Capitol watching on their televisions, but after all it is a game, lets give them a show. The boy from my district must be terrified now in this arena, knowing I am to kill him, good, hopefully the other tributes will feel the same.

The feeling of fear only brought me back to the time when I was young, the first meeting, I knew I wanted him to be my boyfriend, at that age you only wanted to play, even if all I would do was chase him around the playground. Seeing his eyes for the first time was better than anything else, they were just as they are now, but understanding for a child, and older looking, filled with wisdom. As we grew up, we didn't look at anyone else in the way we looked at each other. At this moment in the arena I could practically feel his hand in mine, larger, making me feel safe and protected, he would always protect me, from even fear itself, no matter how much of it there was, just as my father would before I met him, my Dad would hold me close, as my elder brother went to the reaping, I would worry so much, demand my family to run away into the forest and escape this District, anything. My father would hold me close to his chest, as I curled up to him upon his lap, not a thing in the world could get me, that was until my first reaping, and that is when the nightmares started again.

My mind raced back again to the present, now sweating with the thought of any of these breaths being my last, I now knew what they meant by being able to see your whole life flash before your eyes before your life ending. Everybody was tensed to run, to either get away from the other tributes or to kill for weapons and food. If I stepped off of the metal circle too quickly I would be blown sky high, and killed before the games had begun, that is just how to Games makers like it, full of blood before it began, I wouldn't give them the advantage this time. My hair swayed in the wind, calming me before the very last seconds ticked by, it hung there swaying in the direction that the wind was blowing; the wind blew on my face, like a person blowing their breath on me, as the different colours of the hair shining against the sun. The setting was rather beautiful, shame it had to be ruined, shame we all had to be ruined.

The gong had sounded, allowing our release from the circle and to run whichever way we choose, toward the Cornucopia or into the trees. I knew I had to do something, in that moment of realization I ran toward the boy from my District and jumped on top of him, hauling him the ground, as we both fell I gabbed his head and chin in each hand and twisted, this snapped his neck. I got up and steadied myself, I then flung myself onto the floor as I would onto a bed, rolled around as a toddler would do when they didn't get their way, screaming "FOR FUCK SAKE, I'M FUCKING TIRED. I WANT TO GO TO SLEEP." In less than a second after me shouting a large boy, far taller than myself, pulled an evil grin, and pulled down and chopped my fucking head off.


End file.
